i started off the day by failing my spanish quiz
(though i don't think anyone aced it, and that made me feel a bit better),
so naturally, i got a dark roast coffee and an asiago bagel with veggie cream cheese to make it all better.
except it didn't...
because shortly after i got a call from my dad.
asking me to call my mom...
to tell her that a dear family friend, one of her very best friends in prior years, had passed away...
and that...that was weird.
following her usual chipper greeting, "helllloooooo sweetieee!"
i asked her to sit down & listen carefully...
and i stuttered, but somehow it spit it out...
how does a person go about telling a mother such a thing?
(it's somehow different hearing it, but telling her. that's just cruel.)
so we cried. cried on the phone together. because we didn't know what else to do.
and i kept repeating "i'm sorry, i'm so sorry"
and everyone in the BC was probably staring.
but i didn't care. and i still don't.
because that phone call really put things into perspective.
life is a beautiful little thing...yet it can be taken away like that.
so i picked myself up, pulled myself together and
went to lit class and read Walt Whitman... and i really let his words resonate today.
and that man, i tell ya, sure knew the heart & beauty of humanity.
and even though i wasn't close with our dear friend in recent years, it hurts.
it hurts because to truly care about someone you feel their hurt...
but my mama is strong and will carry on.
as we all do.
here's to you life, may you be ever sweet to us all.
"Agonies are one of my changes of garmets,
I do not ask the wounded person how he feels, I myself
become the wounded person.
My hurts turn livid upon me as I lean on a cane and