Monday, December 9, 2013

happy monday before finals week:: a few photos for you

it's been forever, i know, i know, i know.  << facepalm >>   anyway, i'm currently in the process of reconfiguring this little blog of mine while also working on the beginning stages of a redesign with a graphic designing friend of mine.  in the mean time, here are some photos i snapped at the second annual vintage fashion show hosted by the Carpenter's Cupboard of windom, mn and Antiques 86 of lakefield, mn. 

p.s. morgan and i wore some of our favorite vintage/thrifted finds herehere, here and here



Tuesday, September 10, 2013

writer's self-analysis : a piece of my heart

 << had to compose a self-analysis of ourselves as a writer for a class.  here's what i came up with >>
             When I write, I glimpse freedom— freedom of the mind and spirit.  My conscience is often captive to the thoughts that so easily entangle.  To eloquently deliver one’s thoughts, fears, dreams, and desires into the wide open spaces of the unknown via a sea of words is as close to freedom on this earth as I can imagine.  Misplaced, misassembled, and misconstrued, my words remain a piece of my heart and I feel a sense of relief in casting them out of my over analytical mind.  To be clear, these feelings come I write free hand, or for my own self-expression.
            When I write for a deadline, on the other hand, I feel pressure—pressure to please an audience, pressure to place punctuation in the correct spot (God forbid we forget APA even momentarily), pressure to meet the word count and deadline, and pressure to make all editorial corrections—pressure to balance my thoughts, words, and insights with those of another. 
            My mother, herself a writer of sorts, always encouraged my writing, constantly seeking out my abilities since a young age.  My father, a banker and master of numbers, understands my passion but to him it is a distant field  To him, my commas and periods are out of place and my thoughts too intimate—to revealing and vulnerable to accept at face value.  In a sense, my blog readers are some of my biggest motivators, silently encouraging me as they read.  I see the numbers and I sense their appreciation, or disgust.  My motive for my blog wasn’t, and isn’t, to beautify and gloss over my thoughts, ideas, and opinions, but to express them, not in search of agreement or affirmation, but to challenge my readers to think about the “stuff of life,” as I like to call it.
            I think this is one of my strengths as a writer—provoking the thoughts of others through words.  With this said, I write not to provoke others thoughts, but to provoke my own.  I write as an external processing of sorts.  I make it a point to be transparent with my audience and myself when behind the pen.  To be vulnerable with another individual, or set of individuals for that matter, is a rare thing in this life, so I greatly value the transparency that writing offers. 
            On the other hand, a weakness that my writing poses is my lack of consistency.  I write because my heart tells me to, and because my writing is often so revealing, I struggle writing in a consistent manner.  At times, I wonder if my writing—and all that’s included in it—my hopes, dreams, aspirations, heart, fears, desires, you name it—scares me a little.  As if I need some space because that was just too much, you know?  But I get back up a while later and do it all over again, and man, does it feel good.
hope your week is starting off wonderfully.  

Monday, September 2, 2013

peace out, summer 2013

it's the last day of summer, and my oh my, do i ever have so many thoughts running through my head. nothing profound, just some randoms regarding the conclusion of summer 2013.  these are undirected thoughts, at best, but extremely authentic.  i'm not going to pretend like they all fit seamlessly together, so a list for the win.
  • a little outdoor time can make my entire week. this summer especially, i've found an inherent desire to be outdoors.  been loving lake life this summer.  we've had such a blast using our boat.  
  • summer nights hanging with my family on the deck overlooking the river at my dad's place is basically my definition of heaven on earth.  
  • we can make all the plans in the world, but plans change and we must change with them.  to remain stagnant is to cease to live, and merely exist.  
  • i actually prefer driving my mom's Ford pickup if given the choice between that and my vehicle. not in the city (no way we could merge into traffic with that baby, missing a blinker and all), but 'round these hereabouts, absolutely!  there's something about that painting of a forest on the topper's back window that just suits me.  
  • i worked some 45+ hours a week and took eight credits this summer and sometimes didn't know know how i was going to make it, but i did and it's in those moments-- those stretching, growing moments-- one glimpses their capabilities.  
  • i somehow managed to squeeze in an ungodly amount of fun in there too. 
  • i rested heavily on the quote, "in between goals is a thing called life, and it must be lived" 
  • i have some of the best friends a young gal could ask for.  claire, morgan, rach, mari, em, i can't express the amount of fun and laughs we had.  i giggle awkwardly by myself when i think back through some of the shenanigans we did.  
  • the aforementioned friends and i spoke in asian accents for a large part of the summer, nonchilantly shouting, "MAWI'S HOUSE OF HAIW, HOW MAY WE HEWP YOU?" (at the eatery) & "YOU SO TIREEEED" at the most random of times. 
  •  Morgan's cabin.  the best.  that's it.  
  • during one of my very favorite summer nights at morgan's cabin, i sprinted head on into the screen door, repelling myself backwards, breaking the door.  we all laughed til we peed, obviously.  it's one of those moments you'd replay time and time again if it were on a movie.  and safe to say, i'm glad we can't.  won't deny it's humor, though, even if it was at the expense of my own dignity (and reputation).
  • i attempted to and dare i say kind of learned to twerk, along with the lovely morgan potter. YOLO 
  • i really got to know some of my fellow employees (both new and old) at the eatery this summer outside of our work scene.  what a treat that was.  phenomenal people.  
  • i think one of the reasons i love working at the eatery so much (i know i go on and on and on about it) is because i see Mari's vision. it isn't just an eating establishment to her, but a dream.  and we must encourage one another in our dreams and handle them with care.  i share Mari's vision for windom and our community and that makes all the difference.  
  • rachel taber and i had some of the most heart-wrenching and revealing conversations this summer.  to be totally transparent with another individual is a beautiful thing that doesn't happen often in this life.  safe to say, that girl knows my heart and i think i've got a pretty good grasp on hers and that in and of itself is incredible.
  • rach left a note to the eatery staff, in which she wrote, "tread onward, not somehow, but triumphantly."  her words never cease to resonate with me.  
  • flower crowns make you feel like a fairy.  it's a fact. 
  • the barn dance at Willow Lake Farm is the most magical thing i've yet to experience in Windom.  literally already anticipating the next one.  summer 2015 come quickly { i kid, but really }
  • "beautiful, in my opinion, has nothing to do with looks. it's how you are as a person and how you make others feel about themselves." // the notebook of life 
  • often times people cast others off as being "weird" when really, they're simply envious of their creativity & ability to stand alone in their own beliefs & desires. 
  • roadtripping to minneapolis to see Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros with the crew was basically the best.  the snelling motel was pretty rad too.  though we did check the mattress for bed bugs (LOLZ MORGAN), i would do it again in a heartbeat. 
  • card and craft nights at Mari and Andy's house with the crew is basically what i live for.  you guys.  are.  the best. 
  • i convinced a 60 some year old man to buy not one, but two pieces of sin pie by saying and explaining YOLO to him. yup, that happened.  
  • it's pretty awful saying goodbye to people, but you know what?  what a fantastic problem to have.  
  • the carpenter's cupboard brought in lots of fun visitors and customers.  what a treat it was to get to know those people, even if only for thirty or so minutes.   
  • i'm already starting my list of what i want to accomplish and see through in Windom next summer.  i used to feel of inadequate (and still fight the feeling of inadequacy now and again)  because i loved coming back home for my summers... like i was missing something.  i was supposed to get out there and 'do something,' after all, ya know?  what an overgeneralization.  works wonders for some.  but there is such a need right here in and it is my goal to meet it.  here's to making a difference in our own community.  
  • "she was scared again.  seems she was scared a lot these days.  time for a deep breath and another plunge in.  it was the only way to get where she wanted to go.  so in she went." 
i know theres more.. so so so so much more.  but for the moment, this is it.  more to come as my mind wanders and overanalyzes and replays and yeah.  off to bed.  tomorrow: junior year begins!  thanks for all the love. 


<< and a few pics from the summer... >>

she's phenomenal. 
edward sharpe. 

neature walks 
mariah came to visit me. 


summer brought a couple big changes.  one of them being going from this... 
to this... 

some sib time. 

barn dance 2013. 
my long lost love all the way in Kentucky.  miss her. 
spooning in the kitchen.  normal.  it's fine.  
star wars with this guy. 
gram Wilson 
summer sundays at the Wilsons. 
how cool is she? 
gram showing us her swim gear. 

live for nights like this. 
we believe in Windom.  you should too. 
saying "see ya later" (not goodbye) to this gal.